Zombie Blog

November 12, 2009

Once again I shall attempt to resurrect this blog. It’s been a good solid few months since I wrote on this bad boy. 

Anyways, recap… Still on the dole..

 

Now… Fresh post at the weekend. Believe

Change

May 16, 2009

Well.. The 10 cent came out there an hour ago… Nuff said really

Assets

May 14, 2009

So.. Being an asthmatic, I had to use my Inhaler a few minutes ago. So I took it out of my pocket and put it in my mouth. Standard. But what I didn’t know was that there was a 10 cent coin stuck inside. So when I inhaled the coin came into my throat. A small choking began as I tried to cough it out. But rather than the seeing the coin fly out of mouth and land safely on the ground below it happened to go down my throat properly.. So now I’m currently coming to terms with the journey this 10 cent coin is about to take. I hope it’s pretty uneventful to be honest. And I will keep you posted with poo updates. It’d be funny if it came out as two 5 cent coins…

Ah well…. In other news, I’m going to see Adebisi Shank tonight. That should be fun

Quarter

May 13, 2009

So yeah. Obviously it’s been a while since my last update. But you kinda knew that would be the case at this stage.. Didin’t you? I’ve got no excuse for it other than…..well, laziness I suppose. But that laziness only applies to my blog updating skills.

So what’s been going on?

Well, last thursday was my 25th birthday. So I suppose I’ve been kinda reflecting on that. And by reflection, I mean vomiting into my sink. Yeah, my bedroom is lucky enough to have it’s own sink which makes it far too tempting for middle of the night sicks. That’s all very well and good when it’s 4 a.m in the morning and you don’t think you’re gonna make it to the bathroom, but on the flip side ( and there’s always a flip side ) it makes for horrible birthday morning viewing when you’re confronted with vomit with big chunks of pork and roast spuds in it. But enough about that I suppose.

On my birthday though, I had the pleasure of recording my friends band “Chirps” ( http://www.myspace.com/tellinchirps ). They’re a cool bunch of dudes that play music. I suppose after studying sound recording for the last 3 years of my life it should have been an easier process but truth be told it’s the first proper band recording I’ve done so I was a bit rusty. Y’see I spend pretty much every spare minute of my day up in my bedroom recording. And I suppose I’ve gotten so used to that process that I’ve neglected the really interesting world of microphone placement. Anyways, enough of all that shit. Hopefully the tune will be mixed down soon enough and it can be heard by someone at some point. But they’re a good band though. They’re heavy, but also very melodic and have a good sense of dynamics and atmosphere which is why I was looking forward to recording them. Check them out. But I suppose the whole process has made me want to improve my engineer and more importantly my production skills. Maybe I could record some more bands… Maybe that’s what I should be doing with my time.. Hmmmmmmmmm

Anyways, this is just a quickie update as I’ve to go now and get my dole.. Oh yes… I’m still on the dole..

 

Stay tuned for the 1st Hatch 15 ambient journey podcast. Hopefully should be done in the next day or two.

So, since the untimely demise of my xbox 360 I’ve been trying to find ways of amusing myself. So instead of playing driving games I’ve started learning how to drive “real” cars. And instead of playing zombie games, I’ve  just been going around graveyards shooting corpses in the head.. Y’know… Just in case.

      But yeah. Driving is great fun. Until last Saturday I’d never even started a car in my life. So you can imagine how manly I felt when I revved the car up. Great fun. Going forward, reversing… Turning left.. I’m gonna turn right next week I think

Requiem

April 3, 2009

Tonight has been a very sorrowful and dark chapter of my life. It was a night where I learned about true loss and the pain of death. But wait a second.. Let’s catch up.

So since I last wrote on this on-line archive of my interesting and aspirational life a few bits and pieces have happened like random floating cubes of events. 

Anyways, on a date on saturday afternoon I went see the Irish Museum Of Modern Art…… Now, firstly I think it’s important or at least socially imperative that I point out my fondness for art and especially modern art. I will defend modern art down to the ground but the Irish Museum of Modern Art ( or IMMA as I will refer to it out of laziness ) are really taking the biscuit. Now, I’m not going to name and shame the art I didn’t like as obviously art is subjective and I’m only one man ( albeit an important one with opinions of massive worth ) so I’ll try and get my feelings on the matter over with in a relatively short and cruel fashion. Now, I was under the impression that IMMA was an art gallery, but I was wrong. At the moment it seems to be a hospice where bad art can come and die in peace. At no point during my trip around the gallery did I feel any connection with the paintings. Instead I was perplexed with how devoid they were of any message, or to be brutally honest, purpose. In my not so humble yet incredibly uneducated opinion, modern art always walks that fine line of being brilliant and inspiring, while  being dangerously close to being a parody of itself. I guess that’s what gives it it’s edge… Well for me anyway. 

       There were a couple of things I did enjoy at the gallery to be fair, although none of them were the “main attraction” ( which, by the way, I found incredibly smug to point where I wanted to vomit my brain out so I could rip out the part of it that stores the memory of that video installation. Then obviously I’d snort my brain back up through my nose and be able to continue with my life free from the memory of that video installation). Although, I must say that I’ve never been so inspired by a visit to an art gallery in my life. And at the end of the day, isn’t that a positive thing?

 

Yeah, so anyway, after that I went to see that new Nicholas Cage movie ” Knowing “. Y’know when someone says to you ” Oh man, you have to see this film…… It’s so shit, it’s amazing! ” ? Well, my usual response is to not watch it. Because I don’t waste my time watching shit films on purpose. Instead I waste my time by playing xbox ( requiem ) and sitting on my couch looking at the clock until it’s the weekend when I can play with my friends who have jobs. But, I digress. Knowing is an absolute gem of a film. Don’t get me wrong. It’s terrible. It’s foul. It makes you hate cinema. It will make every part of your body fucking delighted that it’s not an ear or an eyeball because those two said body parts and being subjected to rape. But stick with the film, and you will witness one of the most profoundly bizzare endings to a film ever made.I won’t give the ending away because I don’t want to ruin it.. Actually fuck that, they ruined it themselves. Basically, the apocalypse happens at the end of the world ( which looks pretty cool to be honest ) but don’t fret. That’s right. Don’t be frightened. Luckily, angels ( or aliens if you’re a die hard atheist ) have taken Nick Cage’s son and a young girl ( copped on yet? ) and two of each animal ( come on, it’s on the tip of your tongues ) off on spaceships… Or arks ( YES! FUCKING YES! NOAHS ARK!!! THAT SHIT IS FUCKING PROPER ) to a new planet where we can all start over again. Go see the film, or wait till it comes out on dvd, or wait till it’s free on the sunday mail but promise me that someday you will watch it.

So anyways, to wind down this long ( both in length and how overdue it is ) blog I want to bring the tone down a bit. As I alluded to in the first sentence of this blog I had something very close to me die this evening. My Xbox 360 got the dreaded ” Red Ring Of Death ” tonight. If you know what that means then you are a true gamer and I consider you one of my kin.It was sad as it’s definitely the best games console I’ve ever had. I got nostalgic thinking about the memories. I remember playing Gears Of War for the first time when I was really sick over christmas. I thought about the time I bought Guitar Hero 3 and had an amazing few weeks playing it with my mates. I thought about the time  I listened to my bands album for the first time on it’s cd player while smoking a spliff and looking at the pretty visuals on the telly. I thought about the time I finished Rock Band on drums on the hardest difficulty setting. I thought about the countless nights I spent playing Pro Evolution Soccer with my best friends while listening to some savage music and just having a general good buzz. And obviously I could never forget the nights I spent shouting surreal and late night coffee induced taunts at American teenagers to satisfy my inner prick, while also procrastinating from writing my thesis. I’m sure when I get my new xbox I will have some new and  exciting memories. But until that day comes I shall wear black. I dedicate this post and all subsequent posts on this blog to my good friend. Goodbye pal. I hope you’re up in console heaven looking down on me…

 

Ahhh, I think that’s enough for now.

Till the next time….

Hiatus

March 23, 2009

So, it would seem that it’s been a while since I’ve updated this thing. Why? Have I neglected the hit blog Hatch 15? No…But in a more tangible/realistic way, yes. But I’ve got good reasons

Reason 1 – I’ve been sick. Yes, my tonsils got “crazy” infected and it was difficult to swallow. Though I ate more ice-cream than usual which was a “laugh”.

Reason 2 – I’ve been off my tits on the dole. Yes, since I’ve last written on this thing my dole finally came through. I wasn’t eligible for the full amount ( Eur 203.40 ) but instead “qualified” for the more modest amount ( Eur 160.10 ). Not optimal for living in dublin when your rent is over 100 squids a week but sure ya gotta play the cards you’re dealt. Plus I’m attacking old women and stealing their money which when added on top of my dole means that I’m earning a decent wage.

Reason 3 – I’ve been busy writing a 6 part musical about Demons who attack a small village. More information on that as it happens but believe me when I say it’s going to be the podcast event of the millenium. It’s “mad”.

So anyway, that’s my excuses made.

So anyway, I’m really looking forward to the clocks going forward this weekend. I’m thinking of not changing my clocks tho so I can live in a different time zone to the workforce of the country. I think everyone on the dole should do the same. 

Everyone should go to the Nadja gig this Thursday in the twisted pepper.

Peace out! More updates later on.

Cough E

March 3, 2009

You know those mornings when the clock reads 1 p.m, but it feels like 6 a.m? Just had one of those today. It’s amazing how your perception of time becomes quite trivial when you decide to disregard the concept of days ending and new ones beginning. I used to be like you. I used to have it all. The white picket fence. The morning bus journeys in the rain when your face is squashed up some random persons arm pit as you try to keep your grip on the rail to stop yourself falling over when the bus makes another irrationally abrupt stop. Oh yes, I remember the beads of sweat cascading down the arch of my back as I tried to power walk to work from the bus stop. I remember my mind feeling like a wet newspaper every morning until I slurped down some shitty cup of coffee. Taking shit off random people because they think that what side of the counter they stand on determines how much of a cunt they are allowed to be. But before you get all pissed off with me, I do appreciate the value of a hard days work. And it is satisfying to know that you’ve earned your food and rent and a little bit left over to spend your weekend in a constant toxic state to stop thinking about the fact that in a couple of days you’ll be back into the grinder. Hopefully soon I will be back, smelling people on busses and walking in the rain again, earning some money to buy shit loads of shit. But until that day comes, the alarm function on my clock will remain unused and I just might even allow myself the guilty pleasure of enjoying my holiday from the reality that we seem to have made for ourselves. We might think we are the most blessed species on the planet. Sure our fellow inhabitants of this planet may not have our smarts or our desperate need to consume until their genitals wither way and become dust in the sand storm. It’s true that lions or giraffes didn’t invent space travel, or when was the last time you heard of a wasp writing a romantic comedy? I’ve never encountered a fox that was able to solve a quadratic equation, nor have I ever read about an ostrich that developed a hair conditioner that makes your hair up to 3 times more lovely. And I can’t remember the last time someone told me about a whale that developed a new kitchen utensil that cuts potatoes into the shape of ovaries. But then again, I’ve never seen any of these creatures on the morning bus trying to get to work on time. Unless they’re all on some sort of special bus just for them. In which case, that’s a bit racist innit?

Happy Mondays

March 2, 2009

Ok. So here we are. A new week. A time to mourn the death of last week but also a time of hope for our new baby week which is still in it’s infancy. If we, for just one moment allowed ourselves the guilty pleasure of personifying the week we could visualize it as a baby crawling around the floor. To the left of the baby is a puddle of dog piss that someone didn’t bother to clean up. Swimming in the dog made lake are 3 fleas. 2 of which are slowly dying of a dog piss overdose while the 3rd flea laughs at his fallen comrades while being completely unaware of it’s own forthcoming dog piss related doom. To the right of the crawling baby are fallen pieces of fruit at the foot of the fridge. They look tasty don’t they? But don’t eat them, because they are full of poison.

  Anyways, I’ll just do a quick-ish summary of my weekend. Well, our weekend. But I’ll give an account of my journey through our weekend. ( Apologies to everyone there, I wasn’t attempting to claim ownership of the weekend ).

On friday night anyways, I went to the Andrews Lane Theatre to see Hystereo. My memory is pretty hazy on this, but I remember not enjoying the music at all. In fact I distinctly remember trying to dance in reverse to the music in order to deflect the music from my personal space. I stumbled upon this theory one night, it’s actually quite simple. If one is out at a night club, which we can only assume one might do, then the normal thing to do when one is enjoying the music is to dance. The reason is this : When the DJ is playing music it is actually a mating call. All you can actually hear is music but what the DJ is really doing is saying, ” Alright there guys, what do ya think of my vibes? Do you want me to take you to a spiritual place?” Us dancing to the music is us saying back to the DJ, ” Yeah man, loving your vibes, keep it up, bring me to a spiritual place or some shit“. Now, this is what happens in an optimal night club situation. But when the music aint good you must reverse dance. Reverse dancing is simply doing your usual dance routine ( Mine is the walking up stairs while shooting guns dance, whats yours? ) but in reverse order. So in this instance my dance was the running down stairs with a cake dance. So basically when you reverse dance to a DJ you’re basically saying to him, ” Nah man, not digging your vibes at all. I’d rather you didn’t try and take me to a spiritual place, coz I think that would border on rape“.

 

Ehhhh, on saturday I ate crisps while watching rugby.

Ehhhh, on Sunday I went to see my friends band play a gig upstairs in Anseo. The first act was a guy with a guitar ( Porn on Vinyl ). I didn’t really like that at all to be honest. Just wasn’t my cup of tea. Then my friends band ( Squarehead ) played. The band have only played together 4 or 5 times but in fairness they sound like a band that has played together at least 10 times. Bit sloppy, but good musicianship from all 3 members. The music wasn’t my cup of tea either to be honest. It wouldn’t be the type of music I’d listen to but I reckon with a few more rehearsals and gigs the lads will be a good band. There’s lot’s of interesting ideas going on in terms of guitar work and the bass playing is particularly impressive. I don’t like the drummer tho. I hate him. I really hate him.

History Repeating

March 2, 2009

 

Based on a true story

Based on a true story